I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
So squirting runs in the family.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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