people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
My life is pants optional.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize