im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
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