Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize