there's paper in my vomit.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
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in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
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