we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize