hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Are my feet made of real feet?
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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