if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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