But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
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Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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