We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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