Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't judge my taste in strippers
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
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