So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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