i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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