i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize