There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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