Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize