my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
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I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
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Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
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