Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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