i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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