that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize