Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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