And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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