He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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