We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Randomize