we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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