I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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