i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize