you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
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