I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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