Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
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