Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
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