I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I want a musical about memes.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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