i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
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