Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
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It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
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His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
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