She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
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