At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
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