how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Randomize