Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize