Texts From Last Night

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  (734): View more from Michigan

  cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.

  (630): View more from Illinois

  if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.

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  (734): cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink. (630): if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan. http://tfl.nu/ows1
  Replies (6) Good night (1215) Bad night (1441)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.

  (540): View more from Virginia

  Ew, and?!

  (703): View more from Virginia

  Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.

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  (703): She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal. (540): Ew, and?! (703): Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards. http://tfl.nu/xpq2
  Replies (36) Good night (838) Bad night (7624)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  I think I can smell my own vagina right now

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  (720): I think I can smell my own vagina right now http://tfl.nu/1nsr
  Replies (126) Good night (1146) Bad night (22435) Order T-Shirt
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  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?

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  (262): Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon? http://tfl.nu/jffu
  Replies (9) Good night (4324) Bad night (1160) Order T-Shirt
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2

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  (804): my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2 http://tfl.nu/hna9
  Replies (9) Good night (1377) Bad night (2861) Order T-Shirt
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness

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  (484): 5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness http://tfl.nu/vhep
  Replies (6) Good night (880) Bad night (3279) Order T-Shirt
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  (435): View more from Utah

  I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.

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  (435): I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs. http://tfl.nu/z5mq
  Replies (13) Good night (2566) Bad night (616) Order T-Shirt
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  (605): View more from South Dakota

  Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?

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  (605): Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying? http://tfl.nu/tphe
  Replies (12) Good night (4046) Bad night (839) Order T-Shirt
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino

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  (816): i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino http://tfl.nu/4r5s
  Replies (9) Good night (1723) Bad night (696) Order T-Shirt
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.

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  (773): If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you. http://tfl.nu/rtfn
  Replies (5) Good night (1652) Bad night (485) Order T-Shirt
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter

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  (724): Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter http://tfl.nu/v115
  Replies (2) Good night (1367) Bad night (420) Order T-Shirt
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  (914): View more from New York

  I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.

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  (914): I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have. http://tfl.nu/s46w
  Replies (5) Good night (651) Bad night (257) Order T-Shirt
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  (716): View more from New York

  You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage

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  (716): You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage http://tfl.nu/tfgj
  Replies (2) Good night (433) Bad night (720) Order T-Shirt
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  (562): View more from California

  Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.

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  (562): Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers. http://tfl.nu/434l
  Replies (2) Good night (733) Bad night (300) Order T-Shirt
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  (714): View more from California

  Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.

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  (714): Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym. http://tfl.nu/t6kc
  Replies (5) Good night (878) Bad night (521) Order T-Shirt

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