What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize