im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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