when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Randomize