so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Randomize