Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize