my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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