Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
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