I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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