Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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