I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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