you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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